a time to mourn and a time to dance

My first garage sale went amazing! i made almost $500! and i am having an even bigger one with more stuff this weekend (God willing, if it doesn't rain) The Lord has already done so much in favor of me going to Amsterdam; i have full faith that He will come through with everything. Sometimes i have to just not think about the fact that in less than a month i'll be in Amsterdam, cause i would start to freak out. Its totally not how i usually do things, i'm such a control list freak but when it comes to big life changes i have to simply not dwell on the fact that i'm leaving. So much to do such a short precious time left.

On a different note, i took my oldest (10 yo) niece to see The Voyage of the Dawn Treader tonight. it was so good! and she is so precious. she is so funny and smart i love being her auntie. We shared some chinese food then got ice cream then i took her back home and she showed me her Jungle Book play songs and script... too cute. Then my 2 yo niece Lucy was going to sleep and took off her socks and placed them on her hands. when i walked into the room she says "hi! sock hands!" i am going to miss them the most when i leave.

New Beginnings

I love how no matter how much we think we know we learn more each day. I must admit this year has been a hard one. The hardest yet. I felt things i have never felt before and though i wish to never go through it again i'm glad i did and have now risen above it. I mustn't live in the past but continue on in the future. I'm letting go of things i have been squeezing in my palms. and know that once that release is completed i will have a new found, fresh freedom at my feet. It's perfect timing for this new season of my life. I am done with Bible College and now the Lord has spoken to me about going back to Amsterdam, in January, to work with the Lighthouse ministry. It's coming so fast and i don't feel prepared but i do know what i heard and must obey dispite my circumstances. The Lord has promised to provide for me in everything that i need, that is NEED not WANT. Two totally different things. All odds are against Him, but i know that God will come through, like He always does. For instance I am completely broke right now. I can't find a job, and if i do why would i get a job only to quit in a few months? But this is where my path led me so i'm trusting the Lord. If it was Him who told me to go then He will also provide a way. This morning my tire went flat and although i want to just break down into tears i see it as an opportunity to watch God provide and take care of me. If He can take care of me in the small things then of course He will in the big things. So i'm learning to fully surrender to Him. in ALL things. Being that I am a person who depends only on myself i am in for a rough, but inncredible and awakening ride.

I've finished strong

well as strong as i could. i graduated Bible College. i'm still overwelmed by much emotion but hopefully in a few years i'll be able to look back on all this and see more what God was in fact doing. i leave on Monday for Woodward.. im excited for the change and i've missed everyone so much. Then after that im planning to staff in the Coffee House in Murrieta for a semester.. then Europe? oh goodness i don't know when to go all i know is i must.