Monday, March 21, 2011
This is war
My entire life I’ve heard Ephesians 6, especially verse 12 "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." But I do not think I've actually lived in a world where my perspective is based on spirit and not flesh, not until now that is. Since my encounter with the 3 black men on Friday night I have one, had dreams every night since then that I’ve been trafficked, and two, countless black men have been walking down the street (in daylight) and when I pass by them there is something evil in their eyes and they shout out things at me or creepily get close and whisper something. Not every man obviously but definitely enough to note. Normally I'd just think oh dumb guys but I am seeing things through a new perspective now. As I told the director of the Lighthouse, Melissa, about my encounter she told me a similar story she had several months back when for a whole week she faced the same obstacles with guys here. But she said how she was faced with a spirit of intimidation and fear, much like I’m feeling now. Wouldn't it make sense that just as much as God wants me here in Amsterdam, Satan wants me out? If I’m not aware of this I could easily get scared and run, even leave this city, but knowing that Satan wants me out of here so badly reminds me that I need to stand up and fight with my spiritual armor. I will not be intimidated and I will not leave. Because Christ has victory over death and I shall not be afraid. However, this is a message I MUST remind myself; I am constantly at war and it will never end, not until I die or Christ comes back. This war is real, very real, and I mustn’t take the situation lightly.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Do not Fear for I am with you
Last night something happened that may have seemed like nothing to some people but I knew it was something big. I was in danger yet the Lord fought for me.
I was walking the 15 min walk from De Poort (my home) to the Shelter (a Christian youth hostel where Brooke, my friend, works) at a little before 10pm. Amsterdam is a very safe city to walk in, full of many, many people and police; I walk at night almost every day. This particular night I was heading down the main street and then as I went to turn left to the smaller street I noticed a black man (statistically it is the African men here who are the loverboys and what nots of the women behind the windows and in brothels) coming the opposite way turned right then slowed down (while texting on his phone) so that I could be in front of him. No big deal really except that my heart started to beat very fast and the Lord said so loudly "PRAY!" So I prayed quickly then turned my ipod back on but the Lord said again even louder "PRAY!" I realized right then that I was not in a good place. I was so nervous I couldn't even pray; this is when my gift of tongues came in handy and just prayed like that, constantly, as I walked. As I rounded the next corner I glance behind me and he is about 20 feet back and I start to pick up my pace (this section isn't very popular but its only a short street then it gets into restaurants and more people). Its also a one way street going the opposite way in which I walked. A car starts driving toward me and this is where I began to panic, I knew in my spirit that it was going to stop next to me. Sure enough it did. Two other black guys in the car, the passenger (closest to me) gets out and as he walks toward me I so quickly turn to the right and go around the front of the car to the drivers side and keep walking (still praying mind you) the passenger starts to also walk in front of the car towards me but I pick up my pace as fast as I can without running and don't look back until I got to the end of the street where it's more populated. I don't see the car or the guy who was behind me.
I continued to walk fast and pray until I got to the Shelter and made Brooke just hold me in her arms. I tried to just think I was crazy but 1. Why did the Lord give me such an awareness of what was going on and what was about to happen? 2. Why did He urge me so boldly to pray? 3. Why did this guy behind me make a full change of direction to follow me? (the corner we rounded was going right, so he started to walk back towards the direction in which he came) 4. Why did they all disappear after I walked past them? and 5. Why did my fellow seminar student wake up at the exact same time with the overwhelming feeling that she needed to pray for the safety of someone within the Shine seminar, not realizing who, she just prayed for all our safety, where ever we were at.
Either way it was a bittersweet moment in my life. I learned that the Lord will fight for me and protect me when no one else is around, and give me the discernment for what is actually taking place but now I am a little fearful of walking the city which I know I will have to just get over. Thank you God for taking care of your children. I know I can place my life in Your hands.
I was walking the 15 min walk from De Poort (my home) to the Shelter (a Christian youth hostel where Brooke, my friend, works) at a little before 10pm. Amsterdam is a very safe city to walk in, full of many, many people and police; I walk at night almost every day. This particular night I was heading down the main street and then as I went to turn left to the smaller street I noticed a black man (statistically it is the African men here who are the loverboys and what nots of the women behind the windows and in brothels) coming the opposite way turned right then slowed down (while texting on his phone) so that I could be in front of him. No big deal really except that my heart started to beat very fast and the Lord said so loudly "PRAY!" So I prayed quickly then turned my ipod back on but the Lord said again even louder "PRAY!" I realized right then that I was not in a good place. I was so nervous I couldn't even pray; this is when my gift of tongues came in handy and just prayed like that, constantly, as I walked. As I rounded the next corner I glance behind me and he is about 20 feet back and I start to pick up my pace (this section isn't very popular but its only a short street then it gets into restaurants and more people). Its also a one way street going the opposite way in which I walked. A car starts driving toward me and this is where I began to panic, I knew in my spirit that it was going to stop next to me. Sure enough it did. Two other black guys in the car, the passenger (closest to me) gets out and as he walks toward me I so quickly turn to the right and go around the front of the car to the drivers side and keep walking (still praying mind you) the passenger starts to also walk in front of the car towards me but I pick up my pace as fast as I can without running and don't look back until I got to the end of the street where it's more populated. I don't see the car or the guy who was behind me.
I continued to walk fast and pray until I got to the Shelter and made Brooke just hold me in her arms. I tried to just think I was crazy but 1. Why did the Lord give me such an awareness of what was going on and what was about to happen? 2. Why did He urge me so boldly to pray? 3. Why did this guy behind me make a full change of direction to follow me? (the corner we rounded was going right, so he started to walk back towards the direction in which he came) 4. Why did they all disappear after I walked past them? and 5. Why did my fellow seminar student wake up at the exact same time with the overwhelming feeling that she needed to pray for the safety of someone within the Shine seminar, not realizing who, she just prayed for all our safety, where ever we were at.
Either way it was a bittersweet moment in my life. I learned that the Lord will fight for me and protect me when no one else is around, and give me the discernment for what is actually taking place but now I am a little fearful of walking the city which I know I will have to just get over. Thank you God for taking care of your children. I know I can place my life in Your hands.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Children on the Streets
So we are entering our 3rd week of the seminar. it's soo busy, really good, but super busy. Today we had a couple who have been living in Brazil for 27 years speak. Their main focus is street children.. their stories were unreal... so hard to believe yet all true. So many kids Gwen's (my 10 year old neice) age on the street, being raped, part of gangs, with boyfriends twice their age, afraid of being killed, throats being slit in the middle of the night (yes this is true), hooked on drugs, abortions in the streets at the age of 11... soo sad. i couldnt stop crying. Tears kept streamig down my face. I couldn't control them.. thats someone's daughter or neice or sister or cousin out there. To think of something so outrageous happening to my beloved nieces make me cringe.
Tomorrow we are going to Den Haag to work with an organization who work with prostitutes. I am bringing my scissors to do their hair, so excited for this.
Tomorrow we are going to Den Haag to work with an organization who work with prostitutes. I am bringing my scissors to do their hair, so excited for this.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Abolitionist
There is so much I want to say all the time but finding the time to blog is so hard these days! This Shine seminar is the best thing that has happened to me. It's so incredible looking back on the last few years of my life and seeing how it all pointed to the work I’m doing now (and I know what is happening now is pointing and preparing me for the work God has for me in the future).
Week 1 of the seminar we talked about Prophetic Justice, the speaker had an amazing gift of prophesy and spoke some amazing things to me... (She knew nothing about me)
-She said that this vision the Lord has given me (to see women be transformed in the red light district (really all over the world but for me starting here in Amsterdam) is truly from Him and that He will provide the funds and the people to see this through.
-I need to continue speaking about this vision and telling others about it, for people WANT to hear and be involved.
-I have a gift of leadership - yes I am a woman and I am called to be a leader.
-It feels like I have burned my bridges to get here leaving my life back home but I have in fact come here to soar as a bird in freedom.
-God calls me an "explosion" but in a good way, not a destructive way.
-I will be used as an initiator in an apostolic ministry
-Now I must pray, pray, pray!!
The next day she sought me out after she was finished speaking and said she had a few more things she wanted to say/reiterate...
-I have an apostolic teaching gift and will be used to lead/train in an apostolic mobilization in regards to justice.
-I will speak out to multitudes, speaking in many places such as Bible Colleges and Universities (speaking on what exactly I’m not too sure, I’m obviously thinking something with justice)
-I will not reside in Amsterdam forever but come back to the states and go out from there (which the Lord had already told me)
-My Scriptural/Biblical background will be my basis
-I must keep speaking out on these things for people will listen (this has motivated me the most, when I feel like I am doing nothing or just feel like quitting I think back to this and remind myself that God WANTS to use me and will infact use me to make a difference if I am willing.)
-I will write books (something I’ve dreamed of doing since a child)
Some things I left out and some things I wrote not really wanting to share on here but feeling like I must. I'm not sure what to think about some of these words spoken but I can say this; everything she said to me I have had on my heart in some way, shape or form and never really spoke to most people about. It was so much confirmation. Because I mean when you have personal, intimate time with Jesus and He speaks some deep, huge thing to you, you don't really go out and say it to everyone. I held onto them seeing what would happen and when she said some of these things I just leaped inside. My life is not my own and I have fully given it to God to do as He pleases and I do believe, since I am willing, He will use me in mighty ways. It is all through HIM and nothing I can do by my own strength.
Prayer Requests
-The teeth on the upper left hand of my mouth have been extremely affected by the cold, I've always had problems with them but the last few weeks the pain has been unbearable.
-That I would not lose this passion for justice and sharing God's grace with all.
Week 1 of the seminar we talked about Prophetic Justice, the speaker had an amazing gift of prophesy and spoke some amazing things to me... (She knew nothing about me)
-She said that this vision the Lord has given me (to see women be transformed in the red light district (really all over the world but for me starting here in Amsterdam) is truly from Him and that He will provide the funds and the people to see this through.
-I need to continue speaking about this vision and telling others about it, for people WANT to hear and be involved.
-I have a gift of leadership - yes I am a woman and I am called to be a leader.
-It feels like I have burned my bridges to get here leaving my life back home but I have in fact come here to soar as a bird in freedom.
-God calls me an "explosion" but in a good way, not a destructive way.
-I will be used as an initiator in an apostolic ministry
-Now I must pray, pray, pray!!
The next day she sought me out after she was finished speaking and said she had a few more things she wanted to say/reiterate...
-I have an apostolic teaching gift and will be used to lead/train in an apostolic mobilization in regards to justice.
-I will speak out to multitudes, speaking in many places such as Bible Colleges and Universities (speaking on what exactly I’m not too sure, I’m obviously thinking something with justice)
-I will not reside in Amsterdam forever but come back to the states and go out from there (which the Lord had already told me)
-My Scriptural/Biblical background will be my basis
-I must keep speaking out on these things for people will listen (this has motivated me the most, when I feel like I am doing nothing or just feel like quitting I think back to this and remind myself that God WANTS to use me and will infact use me to make a difference if I am willing.)
-I will write books (something I’ve dreamed of doing since a child)
Some things I left out and some things I wrote not really wanting to share on here but feeling like I must. I'm not sure what to think about some of these words spoken but I can say this; everything she said to me I have had on my heart in some way, shape or form and never really spoke to most people about. It was so much confirmation. Because I mean when you have personal, intimate time with Jesus and He speaks some deep, huge thing to you, you don't really go out and say it to everyone. I held onto them seeing what would happen and when she said some of these things I just leaped inside. My life is not my own and I have fully given it to God to do as He pleases and I do believe, since I am willing, He will use me in mighty ways. It is all through HIM and nothing I can do by my own strength.
Prayer Requests
-The teeth on the upper left hand of my mouth have been extremely affected by the cold, I've always had problems with them but the last few weeks the pain has been unbearable.
-That I would not lose this passion for justice and sharing God's grace with all.
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