Well, I had a wonderful, interesting, growing, painful time back in America. But gold has got to go through fire to be refined. I got to go home (San Diego) for a month. To be honest it was such a emotionally intense time that I haven't been able to really write about it yet, for I have spent this week contemplating it. But when am I not contemplating life? haha. It was so wonderful to see my family and friends. My little nieces and nephew are getting so big and so beautiful it hurts, literally. That was something I understood about serving the Lord abroad, it comes with sacrifice. I have to sacrifice being apart of watching my sweet young family grow up. I know it will be worth it, but for now it's hard. So I got as many hugs and kisses in as I could. They truly warm my heart. It was also wonderful because my mom and best friend threw me a Birthday party and it was perfect. I had a slight fear of turning 25 but I now feel like this new season it brings me is going to be a great one. I have such incredible family and friends, truly I am amazing at how blessed I am. The difficult time has definitely happened for good but it was still hard to live through. I experienced so many emotions at once it was almost too much to handle. The overwhelming understanding that I was leaving home again, the fear that came with turning 25, the realness of the work I was getting back into, the memory of the spiritual atmosphere of Amsterdam, getting my heart broken, leaving my sweet little ones to grow another year without me there... just so many extreme emotions showered over me at once and it was hard to trust the Lord's plan. But it's those moments when you experience just how wonderful your parents, friends and family are. They love you and pray for you and let you lean upon them when you can't walk on your own. I needed them and they were there for me. I also realized how much I needed Jesus. I couldn't survive without Him. It had been a long while since I had experienced that, and it was crucial for me so that I could put an end to this old season of my life and move into my new one. I have longed for this old season of walking in the wilderness to be behind me and I am so joyful that there is now so much light in my once cloudy sky. After crying my heart out for a few days I had a wonderful, intimate moment with God. He spoke so clearly about personal things I needed to hear and I have not wept since that Wednesday morning. I know I have a beautiful road ahead of me, not only in my Amsterdam season but the season that comes after. I am so thankful I have a God who loves me and cares for me and guides me when I am walking blindly.
This past week has also picked up where I left off with ministry. The girls still remember me and that warms my heart. "Deborah" is supposed to come over to our place tonight for coffee, I look forward to continuing our friendship. Please continue to pray for her, God truly is reaching out to her and I am desiring to be His hands and feet. I also am preparing a teaching for a DTS in Köln, Germany which I will be speaking with my colleague Elisabeth. I am nervous yet excited. I have no idea how to teach about "The Biblical Foundation of Justice" however it's slowly coming to me and the bit that I have so far has been an encouraging learning experience for me already so I hope it will be for them too.
